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Sunday, August 30, 2009
Saturday, August 22, 2009
Monday, August 17, 2009
August 17, 2009
Alright, so I haven't been able to blog lately. Too much going on and too much stress to concentrate on what to write.
But, I wanted to come back to it with a few thoughts. So here it goes.
First of all, I want to know how people truly feel about relationships. Friendships,dating, family, etc. Relationships are so complicated. From the whole being able to trust people to the obligation of taking care of loved ones who can't take care of themselves. It's such a hard road to travel. And if you get frustrated and take it out on someone do they deserve it or does it just make you mean? If you fall in love with a friend do you tell them and risk ruining the friendship or do you keep it to yourself and risk never finding out if they feel the same way but are too scared to tell you? It's so hard to decipher what to do with emotions and relationships. To open up to someone requires us taking such a risk and how do we know if that risk is going to be beneficial or not?
Maybe what I really need is a male perspective on this. Are there any guys out there willing to offer an opinion on this subject? I know most men feel exposing emotions makes them weak, but there has to be some men who are confident enough in their masculinity to open up and actually discuss feelings. If anyone has an opinion on this subject I would love to hear it.
So, obviously i'm going through alot these days. My family and friends are driving me crazy but I love them all in spite of the craziness. Sometimes I just need to vent to people I don't know who can give me honest advice without judging me for the things I say.
But, I wanted to come back to it with a few thoughts. So here it goes.
First of all, I want to know how people truly feel about relationships. Friendships,dating, family, etc. Relationships are so complicated. From the whole being able to trust people to the obligation of taking care of loved ones who can't take care of themselves. It's such a hard road to travel. And if you get frustrated and take it out on someone do they deserve it or does it just make you mean? If you fall in love with a friend do you tell them and risk ruining the friendship or do you keep it to yourself and risk never finding out if they feel the same way but are too scared to tell you? It's so hard to decipher what to do with emotions and relationships. To open up to someone requires us taking such a risk and how do we know if that risk is going to be beneficial or not?
Maybe what I really need is a male perspective on this. Are there any guys out there willing to offer an opinion on this subject? I know most men feel exposing emotions makes them weak, but there has to be some men who are confident enough in their masculinity to open up and actually discuss feelings. If anyone has an opinion on this subject I would love to hear it.
So, obviously i'm going through alot these days. My family and friends are driving me crazy but I love them all in spite of the craziness. Sometimes I just need to vent to people I don't know who can give me honest advice without judging me for the things I say.
Thursday, August 13, 2009
August 12, 2009
Alright, so it's been a pretty uneventful day today. Yesterday was damn great though. Although, I did tell someone I care about a little more about my feelings than I wanted to.
He's a friend of mine from school. We've known each other since junior high and have always had a great connection. He still doesn't know however, that i've had feelings for him since high school. I'm really nervous about telling him how I really feel. As far as I know he isn't dating anyone. But I still don't know if i'm ready to tell him. Guess i'll have to just take it day by day and see what happens.
My brother starts a new job on Friday. It's actually a second job for him. He's excited so i'm really happy for him. He seems to have all the luck. I can't find one job and he can find 2. Go figure. I have a feeling my luck will change soon though. Not sure why but I have a feeling.
For those of you looking for jobs check out these sites:
http://www.hotjobs.com
http://www.craigslist.com
http://www.monster.com
http://snagajob.com
He's a friend of mine from school. We've known each other since junior high and have always had a great connection. He still doesn't know however, that i've had feelings for him since high school. I'm really nervous about telling him how I really feel. As far as I know he isn't dating anyone. But I still don't know if i'm ready to tell him. Guess i'll have to just take it day by day and see what happens.
My brother starts a new job on Friday. It's actually a second job for him. He's excited so i'm really happy for him. He seems to have all the luck. I can't find one job and he can find 2. Go figure. I have a feeling my luck will change soon though. Not sure why but I have a feeling.
For those of you looking for jobs check out these sites:
http://www.hotjobs.com
http://www.craigslist.com
http://www.monster.com
http://snagajob.com
Wednesday, August 12, 2009
Meteor Shower
Okay, tonight was an amazing night. The meteor shower tonight was absolutely breathtaking! So often we forget about the simple things in life. Sitting with a friend in her car staring up at the stars really took me on a trip down memory lane. Looking at the wondrous glow of stars and a bright moon while the meteor shower rained down took me to a place with no worries and memories of my childhood. I can remember sitting in my yard as a child staring at the sky and getting lost in the twinkly lights up above me. I'd wish on the really bright stars and i'd pray for the dimmer ones to get brighter so others could see them better. I know it sounds silly,but I was a kid.
Now as an adult the stars take on a whole new appreciation. One of simpler times,happier times,and times shared with people I loved and care about. It makes me remember moonlit strolls with boyfriends, parties at my house, and just hanging out with friends having a good time. All my cares just fade away and I still wish on the really bright stars. It really brings a sense of serenity upon me. No loud noises. No television. No computers. Just peace and quiet and an endless sky filled with dreams and wishes. Truly an amzing experience.
Now as an adult the stars take on a whole new appreciation. One of simpler times,happier times,and times shared with people I loved and care about. It makes me remember moonlit strolls with boyfriends, parties at my house, and just hanging out with friends having a good time. All my cares just fade away and I still wish on the really bright stars. It really brings a sense of serenity upon me. No loud noises. No television. No computers. Just peace and quiet and an endless sky filled with dreams and wishes. Truly an amzing experience.
Monday, August 10, 2009
August 10, 2009
My grandma's surgery has been temporarily postponed because she is anemic.Hopefully they will be able to get her stronger so they can go ahead with the surgery.Not that I want her to have surgery, but I want her to be healthier which means we have to risk the surgery.
I was looking forward to spending some time with my mom this week but apparently that won't be happening.It's too hard for my mom to get away from my grandma long enough to do anything for herself.I feel bad for my mom but in a way it's her own fault.She let my grandma control every moment of her life since she moved in and now she makes my mom feel guilty whenever she tries to make plans without her. I wish things could be different because I miss spending time with my mom. We are friends...not just mother and daughter.
Sunday, August 9, 2009
August 8, 2009
Today was kind of an emotional day for me. My brother and I fought like crazy because he has become very selfish and defensive over the past few years. This is an issue we are dedicating ourselves to fixing but like anything else it will take time to fix.
This was also my Grandmother's 89th birthday.Thank God she is still here with us. Her health has been failing quite rapidly over the past year or so and we aren't sure how much longer we will have her with us.
I am on the job hunt as well.Tonight I posted my resume on Monster.com so hopefully something good will come of it. If anyone out there knows of a good sit down kind of job let me know. I'm open to suggestions.
This was also my Grandmother's 89th birthday.Thank God she is still here with us. Her health has been failing quite rapidly over the past year or so and we aren't sure how much longer we will have her with us.
I am on the job hunt as well.Tonight I posted my resume on Monster.com so hopefully something good will come of it. If anyone out there knows of a good sit down kind of job let me know. I'm open to suggestions.
Friday, August 7, 2009
August 7, 2009
So today is yet another day in Aurora. Since I have no car it's kind of boring but atleast the bus helps me to get around some. My brother and I have been working on getting new furniture for our apartment. Maybe not new...but new to us. Lol. His abusive girlfriend finally moved out at the end of May so now we can have nicer things without worrying about them being destroyed. I'm just happy she's gone so I don't have to worry about my brother being destroyed. She was very abusive..both mentally and physically. Definitely not what my brother needed. But he is much happier now and doing quite well. I'm really happy for him.
This weekend not much is going on I guess. We will probably just hand out with our friend Teri and maybe go to the casino or something. I do pretty well at Hollywood Casino. In the past 21/2 months i've won about $3000. Not bad for a girl like me who doesn't gamble much. Guess we'll see how it goes this weekend.
This weekend not much is going on I guess. We will probably just hand out with our friend Teri and maybe go to the casino or something. I do pretty well at Hollywood Casino. In the past 21/2 months i've won about $3000. Not bad for a girl like me who doesn't gamble much. Guess we'll see how it goes this weekend.
August 6, 2009
I wish I had a better idea on how this whole blog thing works. I'm just not sure how to get more followers for this blog. If anyone has any ideas on how I can grow my blog I would appreciate it. It's nothing spectacular on here. Just a few lines here and there. Maybe a few inspirational lines as I go through my life day to day.
These days my life is pretty boring, just a lot of time with my family. But without them I wouldn't even be here. In today's society I think people have forgotten the fundementality of family. It's these people that we are linked to by blood or by name that create the foundation of our whole existence. They help to determine where we come from, where we are, and where we may possibly be in the future. Keep family close to you. There will come a time when they slip away and in those times you will come to regret not getting to know them better.
These days my life is pretty boring, just a lot of time with my family. But without them I wouldn't even be here. In today's society I think people have forgotten the fundementality of family. It's these people that we are linked to by blood or by name that create the foundation of our whole existence. They help to determine where we come from, where we are, and where we may possibly be in the future. Keep family close to you. There will come a time when they slip away and in those times you will come to regret not getting to know them better.
Tuesday, August 4, 2009
August 3, 2009
I know i'm technically writing this on the 4th but that's because I have been so busy today. My brother is going through some things and I have been busy trying to help him find someone he felt comfortable enough to talk too. That is no easy task.
In addition, I have been trying to counsel my mom who is going crazy with stress from my Grandma and her job. Now the stress from my Grandma is affecting her job so i'm attempting to help her find ways to relax and focus more on what she is doing. As well as help her realize that she cannot control everything, but she should control some things. My Grandma is driving her nuts and it's largely due to my mom's lack of standing up for herself.
All of this of course drives me crazy because they are all taking up my time so now the only time I can focus on me is in the wee hours of the morning. Things definitely need to change around here.
In addition, I have been trying to counsel my mom who is going crazy with stress from my Grandma and her job. Now the stress from my Grandma is affecting her job so i'm attempting to help her find ways to relax and focus more on what she is doing. As well as help her realize that she cannot control everything, but she should control some things. My Grandma is driving her nuts and it's largely due to my mom's lack of standing up for herself.
All of this of course drives me crazy because they are all taking up my time so now the only time I can focus on me is in the wee hours of the morning. Things definitely need to change around here.
Sunday, August 2, 2009
August 2, 2009
Today is another beautiful day from God. It was nice to wake up and spend some time with my mom this morning before she headed off to work. We've had our share of rocky roads but we finally seem to be on the same page. It's really nice to have her to talk too.
My brother Steve is off to Target to try and get hired. He already has 1 part time job but he's looking for another one. His jobs are just for spending money. He's not allowed to earn very much money because he's on disability, but he can work a little. It makes him feel alot better and happier. As far as i'm concerned he has been through enough so if working makes him happy then he should do it.
As for myself, I wish I was working more. I hate not being busy.I try to do as much as I can around our apartment but it's not the same. Hopefully, I can find more work...and SOON! I gotta go for now. I'm going back to apply for my jobs online. I will talk to you all later.
My brother Steve is off to Target to try and get hired. He already has 1 part time job but he's looking for another one. His jobs are just for spending money. He's not allowed to earn very much money because he's on disability, but he can work a little. It makes him feel alot better and happier. As far as i'm concerned he has been through enough so if working makes him happy then he should do it.
As for myself, I wish I was working more. I hate not being busy.I try to do as much as I can around our apartment but it's not the same. Hopefully, I can find more work...and SOON! I gotta go for now. I'm going back to apply for my jobs online. I will talk to you all later.
Saturday, August 1, 2009
August 1, 2009
Okay, so this is the first time I have ever really blogged before in my life. Please bare with me while I get the hang of this.
Today is the first day in a busy month. There are 4 people in my family with August birthdays. My Grandma Gregory is also having surgery this month. I'm really scared about her surgery because she is 89 and it's kind of a risky procedure to try and shock her heart into a normal rhythm again. My mom is a wreck about it because she lives with my grandma and has become very close to her.
I live with my younger brother Steve. He and my brother Chris are both living very rough lives. They have a slew of mental disorders and things have never been easy for them. But we all try to help out. That's why i'm living with him. Chris lives in a "group home" because he is unable to live on his own. We've had a rough life but we still have enough love to get through anything life throws at us.
Our mom is coming to stay over with us tonight. She needs a break from my Grandma so my aunts are staying with Grandma tonight so mom can come here. We also live really close to her work so it's easier for her.
Well, I gotta go finish up some things before she gets here. Hopefully I will get better at this so people will actually want to read what I have to say. Have a great day!
Today is the first day in a busy month. There are 4 people in my family with August birthdays. My Grandma Gregory is also having surgery this month. I'm really scared about her surgery because she is 89 and it's kind of a risky procedure to try and shock her heart into a normal rhythm again. My mom is a wreck about it because she lives with my grandma and has become very close to her.
I live with my younger brother Steve. He and my brother Chris are both living very rough lives. They have a slew of mental disorders and things have never been easy for them. But we all try to help out. That's why i'm living with him. Chris lives in a "group home" because he is unable to live on his own. We've had a rough life but we still have enough love to get through anything life throws at us.
Our mom is coming to stay over with us tonight. She needs a break from my Grandma so my aunts are staying with Grandma tonight so mom can come here. We also live really close to her work so it's easier for her.
Well, I gotta go finish up some things before she gets here. Hopefully I will get better at this so people will actually want to read what I have to say. Have a great day!
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